Sohma vacation
by KrAzI JaY
Summary: What happens when the Sohmas go on a vacation to Florida...only complete chaos! (Please R&R(CHAPTER 5 NOW UP)
1. Default Chapter

_Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, though I would be soo rich if I did._

"**Sohma vacation to Florida"**

It was summer in Japan, and it was HOT! So hot that the birds would just drop dead in the sky, and the flies didn't bother you, because you know why? YES they would also drop dead because it was THAT hot!

But what did the Sohma's do to ease this unbearably HOT summer, they planned a vacation to…..FLORIDA! Which everyone was to excited to even realize that Florida would be just as hot. Shigure called up Hatori and all the other Sohma's and they all agreed it would be a great idea, except Hatori. He was just planning on thinking about depressing thoughts in his depressing office with that girls depressing picture, and being….well…depressed all summer. But it just didn't work out for him. WHY you ask, because I feel like making him go!

There was one thing they had to do before leaving, ask Akito for permission. Everyone else thought it would just be better if they left without telling him, but since Hatori was the only responsible adult (Put aside Ayame and Shigure, but really they don't count as adults.) He thought it was better if he asked permission, though everyone was thinking in the inside that even if he said no, they would leave anyway. I mean what could he do, he never even left the freaking house! Anyway Hatori went to ask him that night.

That night:

"Akito if you would just try to be reasonable I'm sure that we—

"NO! How dare they even think of being happy!" Akito said while trying to throw anything he could get his hands on and throwing them at Hatori, which sadly he was so weak that they only got about half way to him.

Hatori eyed him pitifully, he couldn't even throw anything at least a quarter of the way across the room…and that was just sad. But we all know that Hatori knows everything about being sad!

"Please Akito." Shigure said suddenly appearing behind Hatori.

"When did you get here Shigure?" Hatori asked.

"Oh I was just passing by the room when I suddenly heard a lot of crashing sounds and came to see what it was." Shigure lied spotting the pile of broken stuff in the middle of the room.

"I said NO! I cannot afford any of you being happy or it would ruin my reputation!" Akito yelled trying to throw more random stuff at Hatori and Shigure.

"Hmmmm….I have an idea, how about you come too. That way you don't have to worry about us being happy because you'll be there, and you make everyone un-happy!" Shigure said, with a look of pride on his face.

Akito sat there thinking it over. "Hmmm…..I guess I could, but only because I can't let you guys be happy because I'm a heartless bastard!" Akito finished quickly. "We leave tomorrow! Hatori pack my bags!" Akito ordered.

Hatori sighed and walked out of the room towards Akito's. He was actually hoping he would have disagreed, but then Shigure had to come in and put stupid ideas in his head! Shigure walked past him out of the room with a smile on his face. "You can thank me later my friend." He said and left to go home. Hatori sighed again, it was going to be looooooong summer, he thought gloomily.

* * *

Well they left the next morning like Akito ordered, though they could only get two taxis so it was going to be a little tight. Hiro and Kisa were disappointed though because they were two young to go, Akito didn't make them feel better when he kept telling them how useless and stupid they were, and Hatori had to calm the two crying children down before leaving. 

"I-I can't go on!" Akito gasped after trying to walk half way to the car, he tried desperately to crawl the rest of the way, but found it much easier to lie down and wait till someone came and helped him. Well after about five minutes Hatori finally decided to help him since everyone else just kept on ignoring him and stepping over his body moving their bags to the taxi.

They all piled up into two taxis, this is who was in each taxi

Taxi #1:

Ayame

Shigure

Hatori

Momiji

Kagura

Taxi #2:

Kyo

Yuki

Haru

Ritsu

Akito

Tohru

Kagura had to be separated from Kyo, so it was just a little tight; everybody had to pile up on each other which put them all in a bad mood.

Also I forgot to say Rin isn't coming on the trip either because...Well I forgot okay!

Car #2:

"Stop sitting so close to me you damn rat!" Kyo yelled while pushing Yuki away from his scrunched up side of the car.

"I can't help it!" Yuki snapped

"Wow, I'm so happy! This is great! I love strawberries!" Tohru said at random.

"You're not allowed to be happy!" Akito snapped from the front seat, why did he get the front seat do you ask? Because he's Akito and can basically do whatever he wants! That's why!

"Oh...I'm so sorry!" Tohru said hanging her head down.

"You should be!" Akito said then went to sleep.

"I can't feel my leg." Haru said for no reason at all.

"I'm so sorry! It's all my fault your leg is numb! Please forgive me world!" Ritsu cried while sobbing into his hands.

Haru stared off into space, and after about five minutes finally nodded.

Car # 1:

"THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS; YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS…." Shigure, Ayame, Momiji, and Kagura sang through the whole way to the airport. Hatori was beginning to get a feeling of what hell was like.

"Will you please be quite?" Hatori asked in an annoyed voice.

"Aw…come on Hatori, you're so grumpy you need to loosen up." Shigure pleaded

"Yes, I do believe Shigure is correct, no wonder you don't have a girl friend Hatori, you're too up tight." Ayame laughed.

"Girlfriend…." Hatori thought sadly then went into depression mode.

"I'm bored…when are we going to get there?" Momiji whined.

"I feel like….bacon!" Kagura said for no reason at all.

"Ummm….Kagura you do know that you are a pig." Shigure pointed out.

"I know but that doesn't mean I can't eat them still." Kagura said.

"She does have a point, she's not technically a pig, she just turns into one." Ayame said.

"Yeah but still its kinda gross to eat what you turn into." Momiji pointed out, everyone nodded in agreement.

And so they kept arguing about the pointless pig conversation until they got to the airport.

The taxis stopped and everyone practically fell out of the overloaded cars, Hatori paid the cab drivers and picked up his bag.

"Okay so we have to go to the second floor." Hatori mumbled and looked at the signs hanging telling which direction to go.

"Oh, let me see that, I'm great with directions." Ayame cried and snatched the paper away.

"Ayame I already know where we're going." Hatori sighed.

"Oh...Okay then, see if I'll help you ever again." Ayame yelled over dramatically then went to join the others,

"Okay….." Hatori said.

"Okay I think everyone should partner up with someone else so we don't get separated." Hatori suggested

"OH! I want to be with KYO!" Kagura yelled and started clinging to his neck.

"AH! Get off me women!" Kyo yelled prying her arms off his neck.

That is when the war between who was gonna be who's partner erupted.

"OKAY!" Hatori yelled bringing everyone's attention to him. "I think it would be best if I got to choose who is going to be whose partner." Everybody grunted.

"Okay….now Yuki and Kagura, you to can be partners." Kagura sadly held her head low and released Kyo and walked slowly over to Yuki.

"Kyo and Haru." Hatori said.

"Damnit..." Kyo mumbled then walked over to Haru who didn't know what was going on at the moment.

"Tohru and Momiji, you two are partners."

"YAAAYY! I'm Tohru's partner! Oh Tohru we're going to have so much fun!" Momiji yelled

"And Ayame and Shigure, I guess I'll have to take Akito then." Hatori sighed.

"OH no! We can't split up the Mabudachi trio!" Ayame yelled dramatically.

"What about me!" Ritsu asked

"Oh? I'm sorry there seems to be no more people left, think you can manage without a partner?" Hatori asked.

"That's okay, I'm sorry that I'm not good enough to be anybody's partner!" Ritsu again cried.

"Okay then we have to go to the second floor and get checked, then go to waiting room AB." Hatori read off the ticket. "well then I guess we should be on our way." Hatori mumbled, and the group made their way to the escalators.

_First chappie done! Please please review and let know what you think, I would really appreciate it. _


	2. chapter 2

HI! I'm back finally with another chapter! I'm so so sorry I didn't get to update sooner but school's been real hectic lately, anyway I'm still doing this story cause I really enjoy writing it! Any way ON WITH THE STORY!

_Disclaimer: I do not own fruits basket…but I do own a dime and a piece of lint!_

_**

* * *

Chapter 2**_

Last time we left our group they were just about to leave to the escalators and then get checked.

"Okay everybody this way, and remember stay with your partners!" Hatori ordered leading the way to the escalators. Everyone followed him on the escalator staring in awe at the 'magical', as Momiji called it, machine. After that they finally made it to the screening place where they check you before you board. First one to walk through was Hatori who was clear. The next one to walk through the scanning was momiji. Momiji happily _skipped _his way through the scanner, only to have it go off. "Maam..uh sir? Could you please come over here." The officer asked him, kind of unsure whether momiji was a girl or a guy. "OKAY!" Momjij yelled and skipped his way to the officer. The officer made a quick check with his….metal detector thingy. (I have no idea what their called, so lets just call them little scanner thingys!). BEEP BEEP BEEP! The little scanner thingy went off at momijis pocket. "Could you please empty your pockets." "OKAY!" Momiji again yelled because…well…he's Momiji! Momiji emptied all his belongings in his pockets on the table which were, a rubber froggy,a handful of candy, an eraser, and a…spoon. "A spoon?" Everybody said at once, including the officer man. "OH! That's where it was!" Momiji said as he took the spoon away. "I was wondering where I put that! Its okay if I keep this Mr. Officer man?" Momiji asked holding the spoon close to him. The officer just nodded his head as Momiji yelled in joy and skipped past the confused officer and stood by Hatori Hatori gave Momiji a weird look wondering why on earth he would be carrying a spoon around with him everywhere..

So after about an hour they all finally made it through to the waiting rooms, only after ayame had a hairbrush that set it off, kureno a knife (don't ask…but if you really wanna know kureno hates the mabudachi trio…well at least in my story he does!) anyway, Akito was caught with a gun….he really hates Tohru lets just say that, Kagura had handcuffs in her purse, (just incase kyo wanted to get away.) So after a little bit of interrogating about bringing weapons on planes from the police they all finally made it to the waiting room.

"I can't believe you had a gun! And without me even knowing about it!" Hatori exclaimed, while sitting in the chair next to Akito, he was also trying to avoid the evil glares Kureno was giving him from across the room. Akito just stared at a group of little kids that were playing next to the window, then after getting annoyed that they were being to happy he through random things at them…among those random things were vases, which Hatori made sure of to stay away from. "Well, you never know we might have needed it." He tried to explain, but only to get an evil sideways glare from Hatori signaling that he wasn't buying the pitiful excuse. Akito slumped down in his chair and crossed his arms in a pouting way before going on. "Anyway who are you to tell me what to do minion!" He yelled causing the little kids that were staring at him run away in fear. "Minion?" Hatori said out loud. Just then Shigure walked over. "Why it sounds like everyone is getting along just fine today! Hmm?" He asked with a mischievous smile on his face. Akito and Hatori looked up at him giving him an evil glare. As if sensing the tension with his super sensing abilities! (hehe just kidding!) He decided to break the tension. "So Hatori when is our plane supposed to be arriving?" Shigure asked. "It should be here any time now." He answered.

While elsewhere…..

(oh and I now realize that kureno wasn't paired up….and that I decided to finally bring him up in my story…so he shall be partnered with….ritsu!)

"Umm….Kureno are you sure we should be doing this.?" Ritsu asked while looking at the blueprints Kureno set up infront of them. "SILENCE FLUNKY!" Kureno yelled while trying to focus on his blueprints. "I'M SO SORRY!" Ritsu yelled and made his way over to a corner to sulk. "stupid flunky! Now for my plan to get of the mabudachi trio! MWAHAHAHA!" Kureno said evilly while rubbing his hands together.

In another else where….

"Is it here yet?"

"No."

"Is it here yet?"

No.."

(silence)

"Is it here now?"

NO! Now stop asking me!" Hatori screamed at the annoying dog. Shigure flunked down in his chair next to Ayame and whispered into his ear, causing Ayame to burst out laughing and glance over at Hatori, then they would burst into another fit of giggles. Hatori stared forward trying to ignore them and their oh so annoying giggles. "What have I gotten myself into…and the vacation hasn't even stared yet." Hatori thought, as if answering his prayers the voice on the intercom finally announced "Flight 304 to Florida has just arrived."

* * *

(dodges objects being thrown by audience) I''M SORRY, I'M SORRY! I know I know very short and its been awhile since I updated….but its not my fault m computer broke! Do you know how much I had to suffer? ANYWHO please review and I promise I'll make the next one longer! OKIE DOKIES! 

GOOD BYE!


	3. 3 THE AIRPLANE!

_Disclaimer: I do not own fruits basket…all I own is a cat and…no that's about it._

I AM BACK! With more crazy ideas and funniness! MUAHAHAHAHA!

Last chapter: _NO! Now stop asking me!" Hatori screamed at the annoying dog. Shigure flunked down in his chair next to Ayame and whispered into his ear, causing Ayame to burst out laughing and glance over at Hatori, then they would burst into another fit of giggles. Hatori stared forward trying to ignore them and their oh so annoying giggles. "What have I gotten myself into…and the vacation hasn't even stared yet." Hatori thought, as if answering his prayers the voice on the intercom finally announced "Flight 304 to Florida has just arrived."_

**Chapter 3**

**THE AIRPLANE!**

"Finally!" Hatori sighed as he stood up from his seat. "Oh joy the plane is here!" Ayame yelled happily jumping up and down like a little kid…which basically I guess you could call him. Hatori let out another sigh, it was like watching a bunch of toddlers. Shigure was soon following Ayame in the "jump of joy". "Okay!" Hatori yelled after they wouldn't stop jumping after about two minutes. Kyo rushed by then making his way on the plane murmuring "What a bunch of babies." Then a couple of seconds later they all heard Kyo yelling insults at some helpless person who happened to cross his path.

"OH this is going to be so much fun! I LOVE STRAWBERRIES!" Tohru yelled at random with a dreamy look in her eyes. "AND I LOVE KYO!" Kagura also yelled for no reason at all as she and Tohru made their way into the airplane. "YAAAY!" Momiji yelled holding his beloved spoon close to him and followed Kagura and Tohru. Yuki followed behind everyone else looking depressed because he was forced to go on a vacation with a bunch of idiots. Kureno rushed past Hatori giving him an evil look while dragging a crying Ritsu behind him and yelling at him "SHUT UP FLUNKY!" Which made Ritsu cry even more and start apologizing to him again. After everyone else except Hatori and Akito left to go inside Haru finally followed suit looking like he didn't know what was going on…which he didn't. After checking to make sure he didn't leave anyone behind, which he kind of secretly wished he would have, Hatori made his way on the plane with a pouting akito in tow.

As he boarded the plane Hatori was greeted with the yelling of kyo. "THAT'S MY SEAT YOU DAMN RAT!" Kyo yelled at a calm Yuki who seemed to be trying to ignore him….it wasn't working. "It specifically says that its my seat so stop whining and go find another." Yuki answered calmly with a hint of annoyance in his voice. "UGH! I CAN'T STAND YOU! GET OUT AND GIVE ME MY DAMN SEAT!" Kyo yelled again looking like he was about to kill any poor soul that would decide to cross his path. Hatori let out a sigh, this wasn't starting out to well. Wait scratch that it didn't start well from the beginning, he thought in his head as he carefully made his way to the angry cat.

"Umm….Kyo you can sit with me if you'd like." Tohru suggested to the angry cat. Kyo looked like he was in deep thought before answering, "Yeah fine I guess." As he made his way down the aisle and giving Yuki a last, 'HA' look. "Now we can talk about STRAWBERRIES!" Tohru said at random then started talking about all the foods you can make from strawberries. Hatori gave her a confusing look, thank god he wasn't sitting there, that girl was seriously obsessed with strawberries.

"But I wanted to sit with kyo!" Kagura cried from the seat behind Tohru's. "I don't want to sit next to him!" Kagura cried more pointing her finger at the clueless looking Haru, who was just staring off in space because that what Haru does. "Kagura you can sit next to Kyo on the way back." Hatori sighed as he took his seat from across the aisle from Tohru and kyos seat. "Ahem" Akito coughed as he glared down at hatori. Hatori let out another sigh and stood up to let Akito sit in the window seat. "That's right you better listen to what I say minion!" Akito yelled at Hatori. "YOU ARE ALL MY MINIONS!" Akito yelled standing on his seat and pointing his finger at everyone. Everyone just gave him a weird stare as he sat back down in his seat.

While elsewhere in the very back of the plane……

"muhahaha…..MUAHAHAH!" Kureno laughed like an idiot rubbing his hands together and looking down at his blueprints. Ritsu was sitting in the seat next to him still crying. "I SAID SHUT UP FLUNKY!" Kureno yelled and threw a plastic spoon at the crying Ritsu. "I'm SO SORRY!" He yelled as he regained his composure. "YOU SHOULD BE!...Now for my plan to get rid of the Mabudachi trio for good!" Kureno laughed.

(since there are so many scenes I'm just going to separate them by using the word HONK! Because I enjoy that word for some reason.)

HONK!

"HAHAHA! THAT'S HALARUOIS! A CAT WHO DANCES!" Shigure yelled in between laughs while pointing at the computer screen. Ayame was soon laughing with him before adding, "Yeah could you picture Kyo dancing!" He said before he and Shigure broke out into another fit of giggles. Kyo glanced over his seat sending them an evil glare and wondering why they had said his name. Hatori rubbed his temples and wondered how he had become friends with two idiots, seriously they were like 27 and they acted like kids, he let out another tired sigh.

HONK!

"Do you ever talk?" Kagura asked Haru. After waiting for about five minutes he finally asked, "What? Sorry I didn't hear what you said." He said then stared back into space. "Never mind" She mumbled thinking of how much she would rather be with Yuki right now.

After nine hours of hell, they all finally landed in FLORIDA! "Thank god." Hatori mumbled as he led the way through the airport. That was the worst nine hours in his whole life. "OH JOY! 'WE'RE FINALLY HERE IN FLORIDA!" Ayame yelled and did his 'jump of joy' where Shigure was soon following. "OH WOW! I wonder if they grow STRAWBERRIES here?" Tohru yelled excitedly. "KYO!" Kagura yelled as she attached herself to Kyo. "GET OFF!" Kyo yelled trying to pry the girl off him.

Yuki walked past everyone looking depressed, again because he was stuck with a bunch of idiots and he really had the craving for some ice-cream at the moment. Haru stood in the same place staring off into space again. "That's enough!" Hatori yelled. "Now lets get going." He said calmly and lead the way out side, as everyone followed him.

* * *

WHAT IDIOTIC STUFF WILLL HAPPEN NEXT! Well your just gonna have to wait till next chappy! REVEIWS! 


	4. THE HOTEL!

WOW! I can't believe how many reviews I'm getting for this story! I feel so loved! any way I'm glad your all enjoying it! Don't worry I got more funny crazy things already going through my head MUAHAHAHA! Don't worry I won't make them suffer…..to much.

_Disclaimer: sadly I do not own fruits basket…but I do own a cat!_

**Chapter 4**

Last we left our deranged group they were on their way outside…

(And for some strange reason they all know English. How you ask? I dunno I'm just written this stuff!)

"Now where to get a taxi…" Ayame mumbled searching around him. Hatori sighed, they were surrounded by them after all, Ayame was just too…Ayame to figure that out.(did that make sense? Well it did in my head anyway. BACK TO THE STORY!) As Ayame was searching around for a taxi Hatori spotted a big van taxi that they could all fit in. "Alright everyone this way!" Hatori ordered with a wave from his hand guiding the group to the taxi.

Everyone grunted as they picked up their luggage and moved towards the taxi. "Couldn't we just get a separate car for all the luggage?" Yuki asked not enjoying the idea of luggage on top of him the whole way to the hotel. "Sorry but we got to keep low on spending money." Hatori replied. "Now everyone pile in!" He said as he started piling the luggage on top of everyone.

Akito gave them all suspicious looks. Like he Akito would sit in the back seat! Why it was absurd! Not liking the idea he slowly crept into the front seat. "HEY! Why does Akito get to sit in the front?" Shigure whined. "BECAUSE I AM THE RULER OF YOU ALL!AND YOU SHALL OBEY MY EVERY COMAND MINIONS!" Akito yelled then collapsed in the seat form loss of oxygen. Shigure coward back to his seat and pouted. Hatori sighed as he dumped the last bag on them then squeezed himself in the very crowded van.

"STOP TOUCHING MY ASS YUKI!" Kyo yelled out suddenly as they pulled out onto the freeway. "You stupid cat I'm all the way back here, and why would I even think about doing that?" Yuki snapped from the other seat behind Kyo.

(Awkward silence.)

"What did you guys think I was gay or something?"

(More awkward silence.)

"Well I'm not okay!"

(MORE silence.)

"Of course your not Yuki." Hatori coughed. Yuki sent them all an evil glare before glaring over his bags and out the window.

After a very awkward and surprisingly quite drive, well except Ayame and Shigure singing 'the song that never ends' the rest of the way because of the awkward silence, they finally mad it to Miami! YAAAY! And to the beach resort.

"Well that was awkward." Hatori mumbled to himself before speaking up. "Okay everyone before we do anything there are going to have to be groups for the rooms! So I think its best if we just stuck to the partners that were assigned to you in the airport!" Everyone groaned and went to find their partners.

(Just incase you forgot who was in what group..)

Kyo and Haru

Tohru and Momiji

Ayame and Shigure

Ritsu and Kureno

Akito and Hatori

Yuki and Kagura

Hatori handed each group a set of keys and ordered them to their rooms and unpack, and that they would all meet down stairs in twenty minutes.

HONK!

"Damnit!" Kyo cursed for no apparent reason as he threw his things out of his suitcase. Haru sat on the other bed staring off into space. "Man why did I have to be stuck with him! What if he goes black?" Kyo mumbled to himself. 'I'll just back out of the room without him knowing…' Kyo thought as he eased his way out the door ever so slowly. 'Muahaha! Victory is mine!' he thought as he ran down the hall. As for Haru, he again had no idea what was going on therefore kept on staring out a window watching the pretty birds fly by.

HONK!

"Yes..YES! MUAHAHA! This is the perfect plan to bring down the Mabudachi trio! Don't you agree flunky!" Kureno yelled referring to Ritsu who was in the corner of the room crying. "STOP CRYING FLUNKY! You must stand up and act like a man!" Kureno yelled and threw his suitcase at the crying Ritsu, which just caused him to cry even more. "Oh well…you shall assist me in my plot to get rid of the mabudachi trio…yes they will pay for embarrassing me all those years back…oh how they shall pay.." Kureno laughed evilly the horrible memories coming back to him. "YOU WILL PAY MABUDACHI TRIO! YOU WILL PAAAAY!

HONK!

"Did you just here someone yelling?" Ayame asked while brushing his beautiful hair. "uh…no." Shigure answered as he continued with his unpacking.

* * *

I know I know really really really short but I may not be able to get on for a week, I'll try though. I just wanted to post this so you guys won't have to wait longer for a chapter. Don't worry you will soon find out why Kureno hates the mabudachi trio so much in my story . 

Next chapter: After everyone gets unpacked they all head down to eat dinner. Certain people have a tiny bit too much to drink…WHAT WILL HAPPEN? And what is Kurenos evil plan? Is Yuki gay…or is he straight like he confesses? YOU SHALL SOON FIND OUT! Only as long as I get some reviews


	5. More hotel, and a few drunks

YAY! I am back! Hehehe I bet your wondering who gets drunk eh? Well it will all be revealed in this chapter! SO READ ON! And thank u all for the reviews!

_Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!_

**Chapter 5**

**More hotel and a few drunks**

"Oh wow theres a tv! And a bathroom! AND two beds!" Momiji screamed excitedly. "Well yes Momijj that's usually what you find in a hotel room." Tohru said nervously with a smile. "I wonder if they have….STRAWBERRIES!" Tohru asked herself with stars in her eyes.(Bet you were expecting her to say that huh.) "Hmmmm….Maybe" Momiji said as he examined the tv.

HONK!

"I don't want to go and eat with all those idiots!" Akito pouted sitting on the bed with his arms crossed. Hatori sighed, he should have dumped him as yuki's or someone else's partner then he wouldn't have to deal with him. "Akito it isn't that bad." Hatori tried to reason. "Easy for you to say you don't have a problem with all the happiness and joy." Akito shuddered at the thought…happiness…he couldn't stand happiness. "Well then you'll have to go with out food if you don't go." Hatori said, ha victory was his. Akito opened his mouth as he was about to object, but Hatori found that as a good time to flee before Akito could protest about his threat. He made his way out of the door yelling behind him "Hurry or we'll be late!". Akito got off the bed and slowly made his way to the door, food was basically the only thing that gave him energy and he didn't have much in the first place so he would have to suffer a couple of hours of happiness.

HONK!

"I would so much rather be with Kyo right now." Kagura sighed. Yuki ignored her; he had other things on his mind. 'Why do they think I'm gay? What is it about me? Do I dress too girly? Do I look too girly? Is it my hair? Am I gay…?' Yuki thought. But the last one really disturbed him, was he gay? Just as he was about to go into deep though Hatori's voice yelled for them to hurry and get downstairs. Yuki sighed; he would have to think about all this later. "Oh Kyo! Don't worry I'm coming my love!" Kagura yelled as she flew past Yuki. Yuki sighed, he really wished this vacation went faster.

HONK!

"Its about time" Hatori announced as the rest of the group made their way down the stairs. "Well I have to look perfect!" Ayame said dramatically with a flip of his hair. "And I had to wait for him!" Shigure added. "KYO!" Kagura yelled attaching herself yet again to Kyo's neck. "GAH! Get off women!" Kyo yelled trying to pry her death grip off around his neck. "Will everyone sit down and order your food." Hatori said, wanting to get the dinner over with as soon as possible. Everyone took a menu and stared at them. (How they know to read English is beyond me, again I say I'm just writing this stuff!). "Oh, beer…I've actually never tried any before, just Sake." Shigure exclaimed, looking at the menu. "And we all remember what happened last time you had Sake…" Yuki said. Everyone cringed at the thought. Bad memories,

FLASHBACK!

"You're my best friend! You know that?" Shigure said leaning on Hatori's shoulder. "Get off." Hatori said coldly with a look of disgust on his face. "What about me!" Ayame added, a little tipsy himself. "Oh don't worry Aya! Your still my friend too!" Shigure yelled capturing Ayame in a big bear hug. "YAAAY!" Ayame yelled. "Here have some more!" Ayame offered holding up the bottle of Sake to Shigures cup. "Don't mind if I do!" Shigure said in a slurred voice and started reaching for the bottle. "NO!" everyone in the room yelled and jumped for the bottle before any could be poured in the cup. "I think you've had enough." Hatori said taking the bottle slowly away.

"I'M NOT DRUNK!" Shigure said in an un-even voice. And to prove his point he stood up and tried to walk a complete circle around the room only to fall on top of Yuki. "See, I'm not drunk." Shigure said, his voice muffled due to the fact that Yuki pushed him off himself and he was laying face down on the ground.

END OF FLASHBACK!

"Ah yes good memories…." Shigure sighed with a far away look in his eyes. "Shigure you don't even remember that night, you were drunk." Hatori added. "Ah yes, but I can imagine it!" Shigure sighed again. "Anywho! One beer please!" Shigure ordered the waiter. "Are you sure about this?" asked Tohru with a worried expression. "Of course! Don't worry I won't get drunk!" Shigure laughed with a wave of his hand. "Well then in that case, one beer for me also!" Ayame yelled. Hatori set his face in his hands and sighed, this was not going to end well.

Akito looked at everyone with disgust. They were being happy again! They weren't allowed to be happy! Not ever! So just to ruin the happy moment, Akito stuck his foot out infront of an oncoming waiter causing the poor man to trip, which caused Tohru too start hysterically start yelling at the man if he was okay, which made Akito regret the master plan since her yelling was starting to hurt his ears. "WILL YOU SHUT UP!" Akito yelled holding his ears. "For god sake just shut up!" Akito yelled. Tohru's eyes got wide, then she ever so slowly made her way back to her seat in silence. For about the next five minutes everyone sat quietly waiting for the food to come. Finally the waiter got there with the two beers. "OH JOY!" Ayame yelled and opened the beer. "I feel so manly!" Shigure said. "Well then…bottoms up!" Ayame said then gulped down the whole can in about ten seconds, Shigure doing the same. They both gasped for air looking a little dazed, but quickly getting over it. "Ohhhh…I LIKE THIS STUFF!" Shigure yelled. "Another one waiter!" Shigure yelled in a sing song voice across the room. "Me too!" Ayame added. Everyone at the table, with the exception of Ayame and Shigure sighed, this was going to be a long night.

TWO HOURS LATER!

"I FEEL PRETTY! OH SO PRETTY! I FEEL PRETTY AND WITTY AND GAAAAAY!" Ayame and Shigure sang together, then stopped and ended up in another fit of giggles. "WOO! THIS IS GOOD STUFF! YOU SHOULD TRY SOME HATORI!" Shigure yelled in his ear. "I think you two have had enough." Hatori suggested then tried reaching for the beer cans with the intent of taking them away. "NO! I WILL TELL YOU WHEN ---" Shigure stopped in mid sentence, "What was I going to say again?" He said quietly to himself going into deep thought, well not to deep since he was drunk. Randomly Ayame started going into another fit of giggles for no reason at all, soon after Shigure was joining him once again.

Hatori let out a long sigh. They were impossible. Shigure stopped giggling with Ayame as he noticed the disrupt look on Hatori's face, then slowly leaning over to him he asked, "Hatori you look tense, you should have one!" He said excitedly shoving a beer can in Hatori's hand. "I really don't think I should…." He started. "Oh nonsense! Just one won't hurt! Come on Hatori! You need something to ease the stress!" Shigure urged him. "That's okay." Hatori stated simply. "Come on Hatori just one and we'll stop complaining! Please!" Ayame begged. Hatori glanced at the two, if it would shut them up. "okay fine…but just one!" Hatori said in a stern voice. Ayame and Shigure nodded their heads frantically, then urged him to take a sip. Hatori gave one last sigh before gulping down the beer. 'I guess just one won't hurt…' he thought as he gulped down half the beer.

* * *

Hehehehe….I know I'm evil, but next chappie you get to see Hatori drunk! And finally we reveal if Yuki is gay or not! Mwaahahahaha….. 


	6. A whole lot of freaky crap

I'M BACK! It wasn't my fault I couldn't update just want to make that clear. My internet was down for about three weeks…I had to suffer so much! Anywho, here's the next chapter for your pleasure!

_Disclaimer: How many times do we have to do this…I DO NOT OWN FRIUTS BASKET AND NEVER WILL! Or will I? . . _

**Chapter 6**

**A whole lot of freaky crap**

Last time we left our "special" group of poor cursed souls, and no I'm not talking about the zodiac curse, it's a different kind of "special", yes I'm sure we've all had our own very "special" moments in life if you know what I mean. Anyway, Hatori was just taking his first sip, or should I say gulp of all American manly beer, as Shigure had put it. Now, on with the story!

Two hours later:

"Hatori I really think you've had enough." Yuki said calmly. Yuki was having to take control of this situation now since there were currently no sober adults, and the only other people left sober was, Akito, Tohru, Haru, Ritsu, Kureno, Kyo, and Kagura. But really, could either of them really be responsible?

I didn't think so.

Anywho! Hatori was in a much happier place now, with all the colors…and other stuff drunk people see. It seemed like he couldn't understand anyone, except when that certain someone wants to take away the only thing that gives you peace on a vacation in hell. Hatori eyed Yuki coldly, and kept on drinking. By now Ayame and Shigure should have been passed out, BUT they both seemed to have a high tolerance for alcohol…for some strange reason that we will never know.

Ayame let out another fit of giggles for about the hundredth time that night about some idiotic thing Shigure had told him then staggered his way to Hatori, who was at the moment staring peacefully off into space…kind of like a certain other person we know in this story…(A/N: cough Haru! cough) How very interesting indeed…

Yuki sighed, god how he wished he had some ice-cream right now…I mean, how much he wanted this vacation to end….yeah…cough cough

Ayame had finally made his way to Hatori and slung one arm over his shoulder. "See Hari! You don't need that _girl _in your life anymore! You've got us!" Ayame yelled happily. Shigure lifted his hand up from the position he was lying on the floor, in tribute to Ayames statement. Hatori gazed out into nothingness a little while longer before answering Ayame.

"You know what, I think your right." Hatori said simply, although his voice was a little slurred. "I don't need anybody in my life, who needs a girl friend anyway!" Hatori said taking another gulp. "That's right Hatori! Why, just take a look at Yuki here, he's never had a girl friend in his life! Even though all the girls at school practically throw themselves at him!" Shigure said with a smile. Kyo who was having an amusing time listening to their mindless talk broke out into laughter, while the others didn't really look surprised, I mean, they did kind of see that one coming.

Yuki sent them an evil glare, but before he could open his mouth to protest, an arm slung itself around his shoulder. "It's okay dear brother! You can visit my shop anytime you want! It is for Men's Romance after all!" Ayame yelled happily, ready to support his loving and thought to be gay brother the whole way.

"I'M NOT GAY!" Yuki yelled throwing Ayame's arm off his shoulder.

Everyone sat quietly . . . then wanting to break the silence Shigure spoke up. "I wanna give a toast!" He yelled holding up his drink. Hatori and Ayame held up their drinks in tribute to Shigures request.

"To the god of War and glory!" he yelled. "What the hell?" Kyo mumbled.

Hatori scoffed. "The god of War." He grumbled. "Brilliant toast, Shigure. Why don't you toast to the God of Rape while we're at it?"

"To the God of Rape!" Ayame yelled.

"To the God of Human suffering!" Akito added in, even though he wasn't even drunk. "That's the spirit!" Shigure yelled over to Akito.

"To the God of Childhood Trauma!" Hatori yelled pointing towards the teens who were sitting in the corner of the room.

"To the God of Adulthood Trauma!" Ayame chimed in.

"To the God of Jay walking!"

"To The God of Untimely death!"

"To the God of Overdue Blockbuster tapes!" Shigure yelled. ". . . Where the hell did that come from?" Kyo said from the other side of the room.

"To Poverty!"

"To Bums!"

"To the God of idiots and Hangovers." Yuki mumbled. Shigure swung around, not spilling a drop from his glass. "That's the spirit Yuki!"

And the toasts went on and on, until finally the alcohol had taken it toll on the three of them, thus in conclusion causing them to pass out. But everyone had learned a very important lesson that night . . Never ever ever! Give Ayame, Shigure, or Hatori any kind of alcohol ever again.

That night, after all the teens had hauled the adults to their rooms, which consisted of yelling and talking in their sleep, in Shigures case sleepwalking, which ended with Hatori's pants ending up in the freezer.

Don't ask.

After a night of hell for everyone, it was finally morning. Since no one felt like putting up with three drunken idiots, they had put them all in one room, Ayame on one bed, Shigure on the other, and poor Hatori on the floor.

HONK!

Hatori let out a groan as he slowly opened his eyes. The first thing that came into view was the ceiling, and the first thought that came into his mind was, "The hell am I?". He didn't bother to get up right away, first of all he had to remember where the hell he was, and second of all, he felt like complete shit.

Finally faint memories of the night before entered his mind. He let out another groan, he was never drinking again. Damn Ayame and Shigure for their pitiful faces and pleading, he swore in his head. He looked around once more to find the two other beds occupied by a peace full sleeping Shigure curled up in a ball under the covers, and a snoring Ayame hanging halfway off the bed.

Then he looked at where he was. . . the floor. Well that was just typical of them to dump me on the floor, with no pillow or blanket, and no. . . wait? "MY PANTS!" Hatori yelled as he looked down and noticed that he was only wearing his shirt and boxers.

Sadly Ayame was pulled out of his peaceful slumber by rolling off the bed head first thanks to Hatoris yelling. Shigure let out a muffled mumble that sounded a lot like "highchool girls? Where?". Then sat up opening rubbing his eyes.

"Where the hell are my pants?" Hatori said sharply glaring at both of them. Ayame looked like he was trying to think of where they could be, but most likely was still asleep and was trying to wake up. Shigure just shrugged his shoulders and made his way to the bathroom. "I just can't leave before taking a shower!" He said as he slammed the door.

Hatori sighed, also freakishly like them to not have a hang over after they had more alcohol than him.

HONK!

Kyo was still snickering at Yuki from the night before. Yuki sent him an evil glare from across the table before going back to eating his breakfast. Haru sighed as he stared off into space once again, he most likely didn't even have a clue about what happened last night anyway.

Tohru was at the buffet stand glowing over all the strawberries there were and how delicious they looked. Kureno, still towering over his plans on destroying the Mabudachi trio and yelling at his poor "Flunky" Aka: Ritsu , to stop crying. Last night had scarred all their fragile little minds, but not as much as the horrible thing they were soon to see would.

Shigure and Ayame walked into the room as if nothing from the night before had happened and went straight to buffet table to start digging into their food. Everyone gave them a weird stare, then speaking up Momiji asked them, "Where's Hatori?".

Ayame started giggling from behind Shigure who laughed. "He should be down any minute now, of course he lost his pants last night so he.. . had to find a substitute for them." Shigure laughed again.

"I must say it's the funniest yet scariest sight I've ever seen!" Ayame giggled. Yet again, all they received were raised eyebrows and weird stares. Momiji looked confused. "What happened to his pants and why did he only bring one pair?".

Silence

"I don't know, what could have possibly happened to his pants. . ." Shigure said, as Ayame began giggling again.

More stares.

The truth was they were in the hotel freezer, hidden by Shigure and Ayame during their drunkness the night before, but little did everyone else know they remembered it clearly, just wanted to see Hatori looked like in. . . a substitute lets call it, until it is revealed.

As if on cue, Hatori slowly made his way downstairs and stood in the door way, receiving wide eyes and gaping mouths, wearing. . . .

CLIFFY! I know I'm mean. . . but leave a review and you'll see!


	7. Chapter 7

WOO! I'm back! After like….half a year…

_Disclaimer: Yeah yeah, I don't own Fruits Basket!_

**Chapter 7**

**THE HORROR**

_Last time_: As if on cue, Hatori slowly made his way downstairs and stood in the door way, receiving wide eyes and gaping mouths, wearing. . . .

…Wearing….SHORTS! Yes people, the calm uptight Hatori was wearing…shorts.

"AHHHHH!" A girly scream sounded from…Haru, receiving weird stares from everyone around him. He looked back at them with his usual stoic face.

"What? It's scary."

"IT BURNS AYAME! BUUUURNS!" Shigure yelled in horror, hugging Ayame and whimpering pitifully. Ayame patted his head. "It's okay."

Hatori just glared. "Well if someone didn't steal all my pants—"He glared at the whimpering Shigure and Ayame, "then I wouldn't have to wear these! Anyway, I don't find them that bad."

Everyone shuddered; who thought Hatori in shorts would be this frightening? Well this vacation was going to hell….

"WAH! TOHRU I'M SCARED!" Momiji screamed as he latched himself to Tohru. Tohru hugged him back. Shielding his eyes from the horrifying sight. (XD Poor Hatori)

Hatori gave everyone a glare, and then sat down to eat his breakfast. After a while everyone followed suit, eating in silence except for the occasional bickering between Ayame and Shigure.

After breakfast was over everyone just sat around the table, looking bored. "DISNEYLAND!" Momiji yelled randomly. "YEAH!" Another voice sounded from the hotel kitchen. Everyone stared at the random cook. "Cough Sorry, just got caught in the moment." Then he went back to whatever he does.

Kureno, choosing this moment to 'accidentally' drop his fork under the table yelled "Oopsie! Silly me…" Then dived under the table, pulling the clueless Ritsu by the leg with him. "Mwahahaha….This trip will be the perfect opportunity for me to get my revenge!" He snickered, Ritsu whimpering helplessly. "SILENCE FLUNKY!" he yelled and snaked his way back into his chair, earning weird stares from everyone.

"Freak." Kyo muttered, earning a fork thrown at his face. "WHAT THE HELL?" He yelled pointing at the now whistling Kureno.

"Awww….TEENAGE DRAMA!" Ayame yelled. "WHAT THE HELL! ITS NOT TEENAGE DRAMA! YOUR JUST CRAZY!" Kyo yelled angrily, pointing an accusing finger at Ayame. But of course no one paid attention to poor Kyo…because he is after all the CAT!

"I WANNA GO TO DISNEYLAND!" Momiji yelled. "Me……..too." Haru said EVER so slowly. "I JUST LOVE AMUSEMENT PARKS!" Shigure yelled happily.

"Fine we'll go." Hatori sighed, defeated. And so our group of freaks went to DISNEYLAND, where all dreams come true!...Right…

HONK!

"YAY! WE'RE FINALLY HERE AT DISNEYLAND! JOY!" Momiji yelled happily, tugging on Tohru.

"Oooh, I wanna go on a rollercoaster first Hari!" Shigure whined like a little child.

"But I wanna go on the love boat with Kyo!" Kagura complained, looking around her for Kyo. "OH KYO MY LOVE WHERE ARE YOOOOU!" She yelled in a sing-song voice. Kyo, unfortunately had bailed on everybody when they had first gotten to the park…why you ask? Because he's the CAT, that's why. That and this is my story and I can do whatever the hell I want.

Hatori sighed….for the billionth time. "Okay everybody just go where you want, and meet back here at 5 p.m." He ordered all grown-up like.

"Okay Hatori-san! We'll be back at exactly that time!" Tohru said happily, wanting so much not to disappoint Hatori or anyone else, because most likely if she did she would probably kill herself (Sigh).

HONK!

"Hahahahaha! Got away from all those freaks!" Kyo snickered to himself. Not knowing anything else to do…even though there were rides ALL around him, Kyo decided to just walk around. But who should he find while walking! My gosh it was Kazuma! Of all people.

"SENSEI!" Kyo yelled happily and started to run to Kazuma in slow motion style (OH YEAH!).

Kazuma turned around from the dress he was holding up and looking at, (XD Just kidding) No really it was just a Kimono…even though this takes place in Florida…but what the hell!

"Ah it's………………KYO." Kazuma said after a long dramatic pause, because we all know he just LOVES dramatic pauses.

After five minutes of intense slow motion running Kyo captured his beloved Father figure guy in a 'manly' embrace.

"Sensei what are you doing here?" Kyo asked excitedly.

"Ah………………..KYO, I was just here vacationing also!" What a coincidence.

HONK!

Unfortunately for Hatori he got…by force, teamed up with Shigure and Ayame, the mabudachi trio CANNOT possibly be split up! Poor Akito however wandered off somewhere in the amusement park…alone…with vases.

"ROLLERCOASTER!" Shigure yelled as he pulled Hatori towards the huge tall contraption. "On god…" Hatori shuddered. There was no way in hell he was getting on that thing. Too late for him though he didn't have anytime to object when he was pushed in and strapped down.

HONK!

Yuki walked alone, still moping over the whole gay thing. 'I can't see why they would think I'm gay!' He thought angrily, pulling at his frilly sleeves of his fashionably long sleeve shirt. Sigh…no one could ever understand poor Yuki.

HONK!

"Mommy is that guy dead?" A little brown haired girl annoyingly asked her stressed out mom pointing at Haru, who was just standing there.

"Don't stare!" She said angrily and grabbed her daughters hand, pulling her away…the two pointless characters going off somewhere, most likely to explode or something, because that's what pointless characters do in stories. For example, do you ever wonder why that bus was late to pick up Tohru, Kyo, Yuki, and Momiji at that spring…it was because the driver exploded…that's why!

Haru…after about a half hour started to move. ABOUT TIME! Not knowing where he was he made his way to a busy looking and loud bar. What you don't think they have bars at Disneyland? WELL THEY DO! You guys just don't bother to look…

HONK!

"Mwahahahaha…..MWAHAHAHAHAH!" Can you guess who that is? "My plan….its all coming along! MWAHAHAHA!" I bet you're all wondering if he even has a plan. WELL HE DOES! …

"U-um…Kureno-san, the mabudachi trio…they left a while ago." Poor little Ritsu whimpered.

"WHAT! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO KEEP WATCH!" he yelled, turning his head left and right really fast like a chicken (hmmmm…), and then bobbed his head, looking for them.

"I'M SO SORRY! I'M SORRY THAT I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO KEEP WATCH! I'M SORRY WORLD! FORGIVE ME!' He yelled pathetically, falling on the ground.

Kureno smacked him on the head. "SILENCE! We will find them….AND THEN I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!"

HONK!

"Mmmmm….I just LOVE strawberry ice-cream!" Tohru yelled happily.

"AND I LOVE CHOCOLATE!" Momiji yelled eating his entire chocolate fudge sundae in one bite.

…Not much to say bout these two at the moment…ahem.

HONK!

"HOW DARE THEY ABANDON ME! THEIR LEADER!" Akito yelled, earning weird stared from later to be exploded people.

Feeling weak…again, Akito decided to order himself a drink. And when I mean order I mean as in yelling at the waiter for something to drink.

"You! Penguin man! I demand refreshment this instant!"

"What would you like sir?" The freakishly happy penguin…I mean waiter asked.

"I DEMAND…..A COLA!" Akito yelled.

"That'll be a dollar fifty sir!"

"What is this you talk of? Dollar! Fifty?" Extraordinary that poor Akito didn't know what cash was…or the number fifty.

Another chapter! I promise I'll write more and sooner this time! DON'T KILL ME!

-Ducks from vases being thrown-

It seems Akito has been rubbing off on you guys. –sigh-


End file.
